Patient love: It is slow to react and works to discern the right response - and then it speaks and acts according to God's prompting and the best of the one loved.
Proverbs 14:29 Whoever is patient has great understanding, but one who is quick-tempered displays folly.
John 2:13-17 Jesus in the Temple (Ps 69:9)
Mark 11:11, 15-18 Jesus in the Temple a second time (Isa 56:7; Jere 7:11; Mal 3:1)
James 1:19-21 Mirroring Jesus, showing patience, responding righteously
1:19a It is quick to listen
To the person and situation
To God
God’s leading
Ask questions to gain perspective
Proverbs 19:11 A man's insight gives him patience, and his virtue is to overlook an offense.
Pray for guidance - insight, discernment, understanding
1:19b Slow to anger, slow to react.
Proverbs 16:32 He who is slow to anger is better than a warrior, and he who controls his temper is greater than one who captures a city.
Proverbs 15:18 A hot-tempered man stirs up strife, but he who is slow to anger calms dispute.
1:!9cIt is slow to speak.
Proverbs 17:27 A man of knowledge restrains his words, and a man of understanding maintains a calm spirit.
It acts - it responds righteously - whether through action or action that appears to be inaction and always with the best of the recipient in mind as directed by god that one’s on ideas or feelings - John 8
Proverbs 19:18
Discipline your children, for in that there is hope; do not be a willing party to their death. NIV
Discipline and teach your son while there is hope, And do not [indulge your anger or resentment by imposing inappropriate punishment nor] desire his destruction. AMP
Correct your children before it's too late; if you don't punish them, trouble will come their way. CEV
There’s no concrete answer for every situation. But the reason PATIENCE moves the way it does is to gain insight, discernment, and understanding - from God and His truth - so that PATIENT LOVE might act wisely – that is to apply skill skillfully to the situation.
If someone is trying our patience, it is not our patience that God is testing, but our love.
That God would be patient with me is a crazy thought – each moment of each day, God desires that we walk in step with Him in a way that makes my being like Him and treating others the same as He treats me – as natural as can be – that His Spirit in me and my taking time to be with Him would almost ensure my looking, sounding and acting like Jesus.
So, if God is patient, and love is patient, and God has loved me patiently, Am I patient? Is my love, patient? Well, if I am to love others, the way God loves me, then, I’d better be patient… but, why? What does patience look like? How does it act? What does it do?
What does a patient love look like? How does this love react? It doesn’t - it shows restraint.
Being patient, allows me to step back from my initial reaction to ponder prayerfully the right response - a patient love is careful, considerate, and deliberate - taking time to hear God’s prompting to accomplish will and purposes, not mine..
A patient love bites its tongue, at first. Being patient, and biting my tongue is not just to stop myself from saying something I shouldn’t in a way I shouldn’t. But, to slow down and be deliberate in my response, considerate of the one in front of me.
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What does a patient love look and sound like? I am able to say and do the kind thing because I have been patient, watched, and listened carefully, making myself useful by being attentive to God's directing by not going my way (reactive), but seeking His way (responsive).
How does a patient love act? Like God’s patient love toward us - it acts. Having shown restraint, hearing and consider, it acts according to the need of the one loved. It acts “kindly”, even if it is hard and seemingly harsh - it is not, because it is exactly what is needed now and for eternity for the best of the loved.
And learn to love better - as God has loved and loves me - and - I would want to be loved!
Love IS patient - able to accept or tolerate delays, problems, or suffering without becoming annoyed or anxious - it is slow to anger
It, I, suffer long, I am forbearing, persevering
Love, therefore, IS long-tempered - refusing to retaliate with anger (because of human reasoning - as opposed to God’s will (Romans 12:3)) just as “God is slow to anger”
Slow: taking time to deliberate, to be deliberate; unhurried; taking consideration
This love expresses anger as the Lord directs - meaning one must put their initial reaction off and be attentive to God, and quick to listen
To love patiently is to delay, long - one’s own passionate or enflamed reaction - to make room for God’s directed proper response
By delaying long our reaction, and taking time to listen to the person before us and Spirit’s prompting and directing - we give ourselves the space to hear the Holy Spirit’s reminder of God’s way of loving (us), we are able:
to be patient in bearing the offenses and injuries of others; to be mild and slow in avenging
to be long-suffering, slow to anger, slow to punish
to do what is really needed - not what we thought or felt was needed - according to the need of the beloved (not my need to…)
How do we love this way?
First:
We spend time with Jesus in word,and prayer - we abide in and with Christ - learning from Him. (reflect here – am I taking this time? Why or why not? What can I do differently or better?)
Then:
We pay close attention to the speed and intensity of our response. (reflect here – am I alert to and aware of how I treat others, especially if they are “in my way”? why or why not?
We learn to recognize who we tend to indulge, “me” flesh (reactionary) and its manner and way, bearing the fruit of our flesh OR God’s Spirit and His manner and way - that we would bear the fruit of the Spirit (responsive)
