Forgiveness: expectations and disappointment: Is our hurt and disappointment sometimes made worse by what we expected from another? Growing in discernment: knowing more that we might act wisely and respond kindly.
Could it be true that we are often hurt as much by our unmet expectations that we have of someone as by anything they may have said or done to us? And oftentimes, we find, that our expectations of another may have been, or may be, out of place, or out of proportion with who they are, or who we are.
Let us not be mistaken…
No matter what we do, there will be hurt, there will be wounds - this world is broken and fraught with peril. No one goes through this world unscathed, unhurt, without wounds and the scars that follow. We must also see, admit, and acknowledge, that all have the ability and capacity to speak and act in a way that harms another, and therefore, trouble, and harm will come - even in the life of another by our own hand (John 14:27; 16:33). But, perhaps these times need not be as devastating and debilitating as sometimes are - by having a better understanding of ourselves and one another. (2Cor 1:1-2; 4:7-12)
Remember: scars are not as much to remind us of the wound suffered, but a constant reminder of the healing hand God and His great love for us. (Romans 8:28-39)
Loving self and others as we love ourselves, truly…
How might we protect ourselves, and others, from disproportionate hurts and wounds, disappointments, that might have as much or more to do with our expectations of one another, as they things said or done?
Gaining perspective, growing in discernment…
If we were to take a step back, we might find, that most of the time, our expectations of others are founded on faulty assumptions, a lack of discernment on our part, that has formed our preconceived notions of that person and their role in our lives - setting expectations that are bound to be unmet, expectations that may have formed without proper knowledge.
You see, Jesus knew. And we can know, and discern, too.
John 2:24-25 “24But Jesus did not entrust Himself to them, for He knew them all. 25He did not need any testimony about man, for He knew what was in a man.”
Entrust: have faith in, place one’s faith in, trust as to believe, and place faith in - to give oneself up to; put confidence in as to give oneself over to (as we would believe, have faith in, and entrust ourselves to Him, because of our being convinced of and confident in His character and nature, He would not, could not, because of knowing of man’s character and nature - to their fidelity)
Give control of one’s over to
To make vulnerable to
To trust another enough to entrust or give oneself over to another
We do this by degree as we learn about someone and they earn our trust - we see this in Matthew 25 when the master entrusts his riches to those he “knows” or perceives.
Knew: I am taking in knowledge, coming to know and learn: ascertain, realize - first-hand acquaintance
To know, to perceive, especially through personal experience - to take note of
This is NOT “keeping a record of wrongs” as that would be a matter of judgment, hanging over one’s head, to dangling in front of to hold against, but wise annotating to establish an understanding as to how to navigate and set and reasonable and accurate set of expectations.
Love trusts all things - until shown otherwise: and understands it will be shown otherwise - this is human nature and necessitates patience, forbearance, and forgiveness, then a process by which someone might re-gain a level of trust as to be trusted
How do we grow in discernment?
The word of God - asking ourselves the following questions and looking intently, intensely, and prayerfully for the answers: turn to: Proverbs 2; 2Peter 1
What does God say about…?
Himself - His person, character, and nature
Mankind - His love for; His desire for; and warnings to
His description of those of the world, before being saved and/remaining in their sin (Isa 59; John 1; 3; Rom 1-3; 5; Eph 2:1-3; 4:17-19)
Those no longer of the world, after being saved (Ezek 11:19; 36:26-27; John 1;3;14-17; Rom 8; 2Cor 3; Eph 1;2;4;6; Phil 1; 2)
Those who are saved and in the process of sanctification - our growth and maturity is a process, we are all works in progress - who still sin; who are still affected by past happenings - as well as old thinking, feeling, speaking, and acting (Rom 6:4; 7:6; 8:29; 12:2; 2Cor 3:18; 4:16; Gal 5;6; Eph 4:24; Col 3:10; Titus 2:14)
The Holy Spirit - discerning truth from lie; what Spirit of God and our own - John 14:15-21, 25-27; Gal 5:13-18, 22-25; 6:8; Rom 8:1-17; Eph 5:15-20; 2cor 2:14; Jeremiah 17:8-10 (deceitful heart and flesh)
Fellowship of believers - speaking truth to one another:
In love, phileo - brotherly affection
Uut of love, agape - for the well-being of the one loved
